Another PW

Been a while since our last PW. Mer was still here, it was for her farewell.
Next PW: Tomorrow (24th feb 2005), 7PM, ITC DISH Hotel. This will be the last PW for Tommy.. a tribute for him. For our best friend Tommy, who plays - beautiful guitar, amazing bass, and fantasic drum - with us for 1,5 years. Practice today was good, I hope we will play even better tomorrow.

Pengen Pecel Lele

Gak tahu dateng dari mana, tiba2 pengen aja makan pecel lele.. Mungkin kebiasaan waktu kos. Dulu kan tinggal bilang: Mbok, pecel lele 1 porsi, sambele seng akeh + lalapan yo, karo es milo. Biasa kutilang nomer 9, kamar sebelah Evan. Dan si mbok pasti bilang: OK njo, 15 menit yo...
Sekarang aku di Enschede pengen makan lele.. Si mbok di jogja.. ah betapa malang nasibku, kenapa di Enschede ndak ada warung LELE???? Mbok I miss you mbok, dateng dong ke Enschede, buka warung pecel lele.. di jamin laris deh.
Trus setelah pengenku makan pecel lele meledak ledak, aku bilang ke Mer, eh kamu pengen makan pecel lele ndak? Dasar memang si Mer yang ndak pernah sopan kalo sama aku... liat aja ulah si mer:

bener2 gak sopan!!! Ya tapi ga papa lah, perhaps its a good thing... Paling ndak kalo next year things work.. aku bakalan enjoy makan pecel lele berdua.. hahahaha.

Next Year, Baby, Next Year

Next year, what will happen next year? This year just started and I'm already talking about next year :p. Something really interesting happened to me lately. Something that really make me excited yet a bit confusing. Internship period is almost done, everything went well.. I got a job offer so at least I feel a little bit certain I will have a job after I graduate. Good job, good money.
Happened Thursday night here, and Thursday noon somewhere else. With some assurance, some consideration that I have, and some insanity that I always have, I said to her: Lets do it next year!!! :D, we still have 1 year so lets think about it.
Stay tune for what will happen next year.

LOVE

What is LOVE? What kind of word is it? Why people use it a lot? That kind of thought was in my mind lately.. Some people desired to have a TRUE love, some people want a REAL love, some people want a PASSIONATE love. Which one do I want? Which one could I give? Which one does my partner want from me?
What does it takes to LOVE someone? Is it just a feeling that came from nowhere.. (suddenly boom, Cupid fired his arrow).. And I love you? Or is it a feeling that come slowly but sure from knowing each other better, knowing the quality of your partner, the plus and minus side of him/her? Is it LOVE or is it LUST? Do I have passion in my love? Do I want intimacy in my love? Am I ready for a Commitment?
LOVE it self has been an ultimate source of creativity in this world. Most of the paintings, songs, sculptures, scripts, operas, movies, etc, are inspired by love environment. It is inspiring in every situation, when you are totally in love, or even when you are disappointed by love (as some people claim: love hurts).
Some people say LOVE is a complex things.. Which I think it is very wrong. Does love only belongs to educated people? Do you need a bachelor, a master, or even a PhD to understand and feel love? What makes love a complex thing is ourselves, our need behind that love, our understanding over love it self. That's why a people who have PhD will always have more complex love than uneducated person.
For me, I love the passion inside my love, I love the intimacy I could feel with my partner, but for making commitments? I still want to wait and get to know her more than just making a false or fake statement of my commitment. When I commit I want to do it right, perfect for both of us. Word of advice: only fools rush in... And I've been such a fool.

Happy Loving Folks

The Color of My Brain

At work or in school: I need to be "hands on": I like to play games, to compete, and to perform. I enjoy flexibility, changes of pace, and variety. I have difficulty with routine and structure. My favorite subjects are music, art, theatre, and crafts. I often excel in sports. I like solving problems in active ways and negotiating for what I want. I can be direct and like immediate results.

With friends: Planning ahead bores me because I never know what I want to do until the moment arrives. I like to excite my friends with new and different things, places to go, and romantic moments.

With family: I need a lot of space and freedom. I want everyone to have fun. It is hard for me to follow rules, and I feel we should all just enjoy one another.

Yep, thats quite me... nice test. Get your color here!

Starting The New Year

According to wikipedia, The New Year is an event that happens when a Culture celebrates the end of one Year and the beginning of the next. 2005 is gone, 2006 is here.
2005 was quite a year.. A lot of things happened. Some meaningful, unforgettable moments painted the great picture of 2005. Yet I still got the blue element coloring my 2005. Yes, I've still got the blues.. less now but still.
2006 is quite a blank year for me, I really don't know what will happen this year. Some great unforgettable moment already happened quite early this year (last week and this week) :), you lifted me up after some depressing moment of loneliness, changing my crappy new year to a happy new year.
February my internship will end. My friend Ajin will come back to the Netherlands. We have so many things to talk.. I bet he got lots of pinay.
In March some sad moments will come, some friends will leave. Including Tommy... It means that we will miss a great ITC Fellowship leader, a great choir member, a great bass/guitar player, a great partner in my VG, and most of all.. I will miss a great friend...
April I'm turning 22.
May, June, July, end the rest I still dont have any idea what will happen.
What I know for sure is God will walk with me, be my best friend, carry me when I'm tired walking through this year.
So... Lets get this party started!!! Hello 2006, I'm coming to rock your world.

Steve in Action

Kids nowadays!!!

I wonder if I was like that when I was small... hehehehe

Six Billion People

There are six billion people on this planet
But I'll only ever fall in love with two
One is a black and white photo of Grace Kelly
And the other you might like to know is you

There are six billion people on this planet
And you'd think in all this time I'd find some more
I've looked in both the city and the country
But you're the only one that my heart's beating for

Let it snow

Woke up today, 8 a.m. My neighbour's roof are all white. Yup.. 1st snow this winter, the white beautiful snow is falling down from the sky in the end of November. Snow is falling down, Christmas feeling all around :). I hope this year Christmas will be nice, though I still don't know where I will celebrate it...

I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams

Almost Electrocuted

Worked in the apotheek (drug store) today, dealing with electricity like what I always do. Today I put 1 extra plug for the lab. Normaly it never went wrong.. I never turn off the electricity first, I'm sure I'm carefull enough when I do my work. But I don't know what happend today, perhaps my mind was somewhere else beyond the sea... So yeah, I got eletrocuted. First time in my life it happend for almost 2-3 sec. Usually 1/2-1 sec max (happend alot and I'm used to it).
The stupid thing was I didn't realize my left hand was still holding the ground cable (already pealed), while my right hand cuting the positive cable (brown). Almost all of my left hand palm burned (see the white spot with water inside). Luckily my finger tip is ok and I can still play piano, guitar, and type.


I was frozen for 10 minutes, cant do anything. Just sit and try to focus and went to the panel board, turned off the eletricity.. At least I learnt something: be sure there is no electricty when you work with cables.
I can't really explain the feeling i had. It was so hot, something tickling, my minds work but couldn't do anything to free myself. I think I was shocked by 1 phase (the +) so when it came to the negative I could free myself. If my left hand was holding 2 cables (ground and -) I think I will be dead by now... Thank God I'm ok, only a bit shocked and burned.

Enschede's Churches

Today for the 1st time I went to the evangelic church in Enschede. Big church, nice building, great sound system, and nice musicians. Since my own church went away somewhere to the gereformeerd church (boring ducth church.. hahaha), I choose to be in a church with full band, and great preaching. Though the service was in the dutch I still can understand (means that my ducth is getting better and my english is getting worst). The guitar player was the best among the musician, and the singer of course are much better than what we have (crappy ITC choir... hahaha, no offense guys.. but we are crappy). I think I will contact them and ask them if they want to have a combined Praise and Worship. I'm so excited about this, if we can use their building and sound system it will be so great. I'm tired of using 2 microphone for PW.. I want at least 4-6 mic, 2 leaders and 4 singers will be great. All insrument goes to the mixer and blend it together, all the amps just for monitor speaker.. ahh so great.
I miss my church in Indo... I can arrange the sound system nicely... Here I can't even say a thing about what I would like to have for ITC church. I don't know where all the money goes.. they should spend it for a drum kit (they are on sale now.. 700 euro and you get a nice pearl), a new stage piano (600 euro can get a nice Korg already), a complete sound systems (3000 euro for Peavey will be ok), and 4 more microphone.. a REAL one not toys for 30 euro (450 euro will be enough). So for everybody who read this especially the leaders in ITC please consider spending your money for those, speak up to the support group... tell them to spend the money wisely, it is God's money so we have to invest it for God's work.. e.g PW hehehe
Mer when will you come? Lets make another great PW soon, ok? Ppl already complain when we will have it again. Its been a while since our last PW. And I miss it badly.. praising and worshiping Him with our talents.

Cooking and Life

Some of us think (including me) cooking is a very nice work, great and useful hobby. I love cooking, creating something out of different ingredients, and different spices.
If you look carefully, cooking and living have some similar aspect. In cooking you use different spices such as salt, pepper, sugar. Those are the basic spices, but if you want more you can always add basilicum (Italians), ginger (some Indonesian cooking), etc. Why I called those spices as a basic spices? Its because all of those are used in every cooking in the world, no matter which country you came from you will know salt, sugar, pepper.
Well.. to use those spices you have to know how to combine them. Putting too much salt will make it too salty, putting too much sugar will make it so sweet then it will become bitter, putting too much paper will make it too spicy. So the perfect combination will make a perfect tasty dishes.
Lets take a look of our life. We have those spices as well and everything that is too much is never good. In my case I used too much pepper in the past so it became too spicy and hot. Lately I used too much sugar (really too much), too sweet then it become bitter. The bitterness stays in other ppl who tasted it. And sometimes I use too much salt as well, then it become too salty and it become 'garing'.. btw, there is a myth in Indonesia if you use too much salt it means that you are 'pengen kawin' (want to get married).. hahaha.
Making our life in a perfect balance is not as easy as making a perfect cooking... too much spices that we cant explain, strange combination of sweet and sour can be nice as well. So I need to learn more how to combine those thing in my life.. hehehe. I'm so exited about it.. Can't wait to make a perfect dish/life.

Not Dutch at all..!!!

Today I went to my office by train, my supervisor car were used by his wife. Well I never like to go to work with train, cost me more money and time... I took the 7.27 train to Almelo, then took the bus to my office. Worked from 8 to 17.30 as always.
But today was a little bit different than the normal day... My department has 6 ppl (including me and Jan as a stage student). Usually only 1 of us take the train and bus, but today 4 of us + 1 other stage student took the train. And the most amazing thing was the office closed at exactly 17.30, first time in couple of years I think... Usually there is always someone working overtime, but today none.. Completely empty!!!
5 of us wanted to go to the station to take the train. Yuri (one of my supervisors, half Indonesian) came with car, so he offered us to car pool, his car is old Mazda with 4 person seat.. and we were 6 ppl. So I said this is impossible.. He replied: Come on.. you came from Indonesia, how can you say this is impossible? Just hop in.
6 of us in a small car heading to the train station, he drove like an 'angkot' driver, that's the prove he is half Indonesian. Car was so full and crowded, we made jokes, mock each other, shouted to the girls, etc2... Hahaha, not Dutch at all... or at least normal Dutch bosses don't do that.
It was a nice experience to know how they can brake the Dutch law. Yup... law is made to be broken.. haha. If we crashed into something we wont get any insurance. I'm glad I'm still alive with his 'angkot' driving style (80 in 50 max street... hahaha).
Glad none of my co-workers are real Dutch.. haha.

1st performance with my new group

Me, Tj, and Tommy made this trio group: 2 guitar, 1 percussion and 3 of us vocals. Its quite cool, because we are quite good in playing and singing :), and I need it... since the choir can't satisfy my quality standart :P. So we did some practice, made some remix of songs and gave a performance. Today was our first performance, it was quite nice... with our morning voice.. hehe. So we sang 'Come, Lord Jesus Come' changed it a little, give melody here and there, and gave bible verse in the middle of the song. It was taken from Isaiah 61:1-3. We are serious about this group... when we practiced alone and sang the song, we can really feel the holly spirit. It was always a nice practice. Repeating the same songs, joking around, and doing some serious worship... it was so nice, satisfying.
We have plan to sing 1 song every week, I hope all the ppl will be ok about us. We just don't want to have the wrong image that we are showing off.. Its not about show, its about our desire to sing properly for Him. I hope we will get some support from the congregation.
GBU all folks.

About me

This is my first time describing my self in my blog... hehe, this gonna be a longgg story...

Born in Indonesia, raised in a Christian family. Happy child hood, great parents. Spent my kindergarten, elementary, junior high, and high school in a city called Madiun. The city should be the capital of Indonesia if the communist party won.. hehe. But because communism never went really well, Madiun has placed it self in the History of Indonesia as the city of the rebellious communist. Anyway.. lets move on. My life is not smooth at all, experienced many good and bad things, matured before my time to be. Been broken, couldn't hear Him answering my cries for help. Had some doubt about His existence as well. Was not a good Christian as what my parents want me to be.. till now still not so good.. hehe, but I'm trying my best to be one.
Went to a public university in Yogyakarta for more than 1 year. Love the city, and the ppl there. Learn a lot about living alone with very limited cash (its not that my parents couldn't send me, but because I didn't really care about myself).. ate hot meal 1 time per day (dinner), and never had breakfast made me so skinny (around 54 Kg that time... was the worst period ever). Worked in a 'warnet' from 12 p.m-5 a.m, and sometimes taught some junior high student math, or physics. In case you wonder when I went to college... I dropped my subject for the last half year, because I was preparing my next study here in Enschede. So I really had a lot of time doing nothing.. only worked, took some Dutch lesson, and slept the whole afternoon.. haha. What a life I had in Yogyakarya..
Never got any luck with girls.. I had a lot though.. really a lot.. dozen of them, but when I tried to be serious, things just went crazy.. So let it be.. But now its about time and I'm ready for love, had too much fun already..
I'm in love with music, my mom put me in music school since I was 5 or 6, I didnt really remember. Played organ and classic piano. In junior high I quitted music school and start learning how to play guitar, bass, drums, just for fun. Made a band with my friends, playing hard rock, heavy metal, and stuff like that.. was so crazy... My parents didn't like it though, they said God gave you the talents to serve Him.. I was just laughing when they told me all of those things. But then God broke me down.. haha, yeah I was a pain in the butt.. So I turned my way around and start playing in church. Start singing with the choir as well, then discovered that God wanted me to be a true worshiper, He gave me the talent and I have to give it back to Him, He is seeking such a man to worship Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:23-24).
For your information I played organ, piano, guitar, saxophone, blues harmonica, and a little bit of drums, bass, and trumpet. Learnt flute from Mer (she was my partner in singing and worshiping) but didnt have the patience.
Back to my life... now I'm in Enschede pursuing my bachelor degree in Electrical Engineering, in my internship period working for PBF group in Research and Design department.
A singer, guitar player, and piano sometimes in 4U band, a christian band I made with some ppl in my local church. A singer, and guitar player in PPIE MC, indonesian community band playing Jazz, Pop, and easy listening song.
Lately I let my heart work more than my brain.. and I'm glad about it. Sometimes you need to use your feeling more than your logic. I can see more of this world and its beauty.

So thats all folks.. me from the past to present (I wish I can say something about my future as well :P) hope you enjoy it. For some people maybe this is too long.. but who care this is my blog not yours.. hehe.

Hope, Faith and Action

Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

When we talk about faith and hope sometimes we forget about the 'action' part. If we look deeper into the verse we can see some action that we should do.
verse 3-4: we need to rejoice in our suffering, not only regreting it but doing something with it. Rejoice!!! then perseverance will come and it will shape our character which will bring HOPE to us. and Hope from God wont disappoint us. If God poured his love into our hearts there wont be false Hope, all you can hope is something that He want you to Hope for, to give you more motivation in this live. So lets try to have the right attitude towards our Hope, invite the Holly Spirit and He will give you the right Hope.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God.. (Psalm 42:5)

We all dream of love

We all dream of love
We all dream of meeting someone
Sent here from above

But if no one comes we must endure
Have faith though we're not really sure
Cause what else can you do
Until you meet the one who dreams of you

We all hope someday
We will fall in love
and it will never go away

But if you fall down you must stay strong
Just get back up and sing your song
Cause what else can you do
Until you meet the one who hopes for you

But while we wait let's still have fun
and practice for the time to come
Cause what else can you do
Until you meet that one who dreams of you

We all dream of love
We all dream of meeting someone
Sent here from above

Sick

I woke up this morning and found my bed sheet full of blood, apparently my nose was bleeding whole night. I don't know how can that happened, maybe because I didn't have enough sleep for couple of days, and the change of seasons. The weather just go crazy again. We had quite nice week, and now (starting from Sunday) its cold, and Mr. Sun feels a bit shy and hiding behind the grey clouds.
So I hope this will end soon. I don't want to spend all my blood and wash the sheet again.

Works, works, and works

My internship started 2 weeks ago (at least the full time one). I got a nice place (PBF group, website under construction already for 2 years), nice salary, nice people (one of the boss is half indonesian, and the beautiful secretary is also half indonesian). And I got a position in Research and Design department. So they gave me my own desk with complete tools, a computer, and maybe they will give me a telephone. I worked with 3 seniors who design and test the power supply. I'm quite happy with my task, and I'm getting good at it. Yesterday I blew up 3 powersupply that I made for testing a new prototype, it was fun... hahaha. The powersupply has to deliver a minimum voltage of 42V with maximum load current of 12A at minimum input voltage of 90V AC. The prototype that I made deliver 40V DC, so I need 2 more Volts. We changed the value of a resistor from 47Kohm to 56Kohm to make the resonant frequency of the mosfet lower so it can produce more output voltage. It was ok at 6A, at 9A still ok, 10A start making sound.., 11A getting louder, 11,8A BOOM!!! I blew it up..." hmm thats not good", we said it almost in the same time. We thought it was out of regulation, so we put a diode accross the controler to bypass some current and to maintain the reference voltage at 2 volt, we thought everything will be ok because it will always be inside the regulation. Apparently what we thought was wrong, once again it blew up at 11,8A. Things was getting worst when I blew the 3rd powersupply at normal condition without modification, but still at 56K.
Today we made several change to it, Wouter (the boss) said it will be better if we decrease the resonant impedance by lowering the value of the Inductor, and change the resistor to its original value (47K) so we ask the production department to make a 25uH inductor instead of the 30uH that we used before. Then the test came... 10A still OK, 11A still OK, 11,9 A still OK... hmm this is good. 12,3A still OK.. huh?? This is bad, it should reach the current limit now.. 12,9A click the current limiter start to work, the powersupply died.. Thats a good sign..
So my task tomorrow, modified it and test the short circuit current (16A).. It will be fun.., playing with big Amps and large Voltages...

"1 apple a day, keep your doctor away. 3 powersupply per day, make your doctor awake"